Archive for the ‘Featured’ Category

Welcome to Cancerland. (It Gets Better)

Saturday, May 18th, 2013
Day zero

Day One

Since I started writing this blog, and since word of Clio’s diagnosis began spreading among my inner and outer circles of friends, I’ve heard from at least a dozen people whose children (or grandchildren) have just been diagnosed with leukemia or some other cancer.

Some have contacted me just days after the news, in complete shock. For others it’s been a few weeks or months. The latter group is usually reaching out to say that they’ve felt and experienced so much of what I have, and have appreciated the blog. The former group write to me almost in desperation, I think wanting some sort of comfort and assurance.

And it’s to that group — the devastated, terrified ones — I simply want to say: It gets better. (I know; that phrase has already been taken by this wonderful initiative, but I’m borrowing it.) At least, it did for us. And I think (and hope) it will for you, too. (more…)

Running, Rocking Out and Rallying

Friday, May 10th, 2013

mothers-day-rally1When I picked the girls up from school today, Elsa said that I could not look in her backpack, because there was a surprise in there, and she wasn’t going to say what it was, or who it was for, but I couldn’t look, OK??  (OK, sweetie. I won’t.) PROMISE?? (Yes, I promise.)

Clio was more forthright: “There’s a Mother’s Day present for you in my backpack, so don’t look in there.”

I’m looking forward to the big reveal. I’m also looking forward to three other things happening this Mother’s Day:

1.) I’m running in a 5K, with registration fees to benefit a domestic violence prevention organization. Although I run the equivalent of a 5K basically every time I go for a jog, I haven’t run an actual *race* (or fun run, or whatever) since I was in middle school, so this oughta be a good time. Assuming it isn’t raining.

2.) Later in the day, I’m taking the gals and myself into Boston for the One Family Music Festival, which the mister is playing in, along with some of our favorite Boston kids’ performers. Donations/proceeds benefit the Boston One Fund, and the lineup is great. (This is the “rocking out” part of the post title. Work with me.)

3.) MOST EXCITING OF ALL (depending on what’s in those backpacks, I guess): I’m going to be part of the 5th Annual Mother’s Day Rally for Mental Health over at the amazing Katherine Stone’s Postpartum Progress. I’ll be joining 23 other wonderful bloggers, sharing posts about our experiences / advice / madcap capers / etc. with mood disorders and mothering.

As you may or may not know, four years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder (yes, just one of the many things Catherine Zeta Jones and I have in common!) I have blogged about it extensively over the years, and tell the story in detail in my book. And let me tell you: dealing with major depression while parenting twin toddlers is almost — not quite, but almost — as fun as having a child with cancer.

No, no, no, I’m just shitting you. Nothing is as fun as having a child with cancer.

Sorry, it’s Friday night, it’s been a long week, and I’m clearly getting punchy. Back on track for a moment to say: this Mother’s Day Rally thing is going to be really cool — one contributor’s post an hour for 24 hours — all to get people talking and thinking and feeling less alone and maybe, in some cases, feeling inspired to get the help they need. Because nobody should have to deal with depression on their own.

And now, I shall join Alastair in watching a documentary about 70-year-old Dutch twin prostitutes. (I’m totally serious. I don’t know how he chooses these things…But these ladies are a hoot.)

To all of you moms out there: Happy Mother’s Day! May there be good things for you in your children’s backpacks. Or flowers and breakfast in bed. Or, hell, elderly Dutch prostitutes, if that’s your thing.  It’s all good.

 

Fokkens sisters

Meet the Fokkens!

Happy Campers

Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
FamilyShot_Holeinthewall

Post tower-climbing and zip-lining

We had such a nice weekend.

We spent it at the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp in Ashford, Connecticut — the camp Paul Newman founded as a place for kids with serious illnesses to get away from their troubles for a while and “raise a little hell.”

Growing up in the next Connecticut town over from where Paul Newman and his wife lived, I remember being aware of the place for a long time — it was founded in 1988 — but did I ever, as a happy suburban teenager, think my future family would have reason to go there? “Pshh. Yeah,” I might have said, while casually checking to make sure my feathered bangs were adequately hair-sprayed. “And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.” (Name the reference, win an AC/DC t-shirt!*)

But I can now count the place as one of the unexpected gifts and blessings of having a child with cancer.

I grew up at summer camps (and, yes, wrote a novel inspired by those experiences) so the camp scene is something I’m very familiar with — the fresh air, the bunk beds, the dining hall meals, the repeat-after-me songs, the preternaturally enthusiastic counselors.

Hole in the Wall Gang had all of that — plus Newman’s Own brand condiments and lemonade, to boot! — but there was something especially magical about the fact that all of the families there had faced (and were still facing, in many cases) the suckitude challenges of cancer. And all the staff — many unpaid volunteers, and many former campers themselves — knew it, of course, yet were at the same time determined to help us forget it for a little while. (more…)

Refreshed and Renewed

Tuesday, April 30th, 2013
Le paperback! On sale today.

Le paperback! On sale today.

Today is a good day. A day when I’m feeling — yes — refreshed and renewed. It’s 65 degrees and sunny outside. I went for a run this morning. I’ve got lots to do, but not so much that I’m feeling stressed. I’m wearing a spring-y shirt. I’m drinking a tasty au lait. And today is the day that the paperback version of Double Time goes on sale.

A year ago today, the hardcover version was about to be published, an event that ended up feeling rather anticlimactic. It’s a weird thing as an author; you work and work on this book, you see it all coming together — the cover, the pages, etc. — and then suddenly one day it’s on sale and…nothing really happens. I’d heard this from lots of author friends, and tried to prepare myself for the let-down. But you still sort of feel like there should be champagne or fireworks or something.

I treated myself to some extremely excellent shoes as consolation. But then, less than two months after the hardcover came out, Clio was diagnosed with leukemia. Which cast something of a pall over the whole thing. (Publishing the book, that is; not the shoes, which are completely pall-resistant.)

This time around, though, I feel like a much more seasoned author, and clearly I have some more important things on my mind than my book’s ranking on Amazon. Paperback launch? Yes, how lovely! I hope my book gets into the hands of more people as a result.

But what’s especially nice about this final milestone for Double Time is the sense that I can fully move on to the next project(s). I’ve had an idea for a novel cooking for some time now, and am starting to buckle down and work on it for real. (more…)

About last week…

Tuesday, April 23rd, 2013

Marathon

It’s hard to even know where to begin. And I apologize in advance for this long, rambly post — it’s one of those where I’m kind of just getting it all down, not editing or culling much along the way. But so it goes.

So I’ll begin with last Sunday. Clio was still inpatient at that point. We were going on a week of hospitalization, for what was basically a common cold. But it was a cold that happened to come when her immune system was particularly weak after an intense round of chemo. So while Clio felt basically fine by last Sunday, we still had to wait for her ANC (Absolute Neutrophil Count) to recover. Which was taking a frustratingly long time.

And as a result of all of this, we couldn’t go as a family to the big, annual pasta party celebration for the Dana Farber Marathon Challenge on Sunday afternoon. This is when hundreds of people running the Boston Marathon for Dana Farber / cancer research, as well as many of the individuals (many of them kids, like Clio) in whose honor they’re running, all get together to celebrate and get inspired and ready for the big day. (more…)