Posts Tagged ‘Cancer’

Running, Rocking Out and Rallying

Friday, May 10th, 2013

mothers-day-rally1When I picked the girls up from school today, Elsa said that I could not look in her backpack, because there was a surprise in there, and she wasn’t going to say what it was, or who it was for, but I couldn’t look, OK??  (OK, sweetie. I won’t.) PROMISE?? (Yes, I promise.)

Clio was more forthright: “There’s a Mother’s Day present for you in my backpack, so don’t look in there.”

I’m looking forward to the big reveal. I’m also looking forward to three other things happening this Mother’s Day:

1.) I’m running in a 5K, with registration fees to benefit a domestic violence prevention organization. Although I run the equivalent of a 5K basically every time I go for a jog, I haven’t run an actual *race* (or fun run, or whatever) since I was in middle school, so this oughta be a good time. Assuming it isn’t raining.

2.) Later in the day, I’m taking the gals and myself into Boston for the One Family Music Festival, which the mister is playing in, along with some of our favorite Boston kids’ performers. Donations/proceeds benefit the Boston One Fund, and the lineup is great. (This is the “rocking out” part of the post title. Work with me.)

3.) MOST EXCITING OF ALL (depending on what’s in those backpacks, I guess): I’m going to be part of the 5th Annual Mother’s Day Rally for Mental Health over at the amazing Katherine Stone’s Postpartum Progress. I’ll be joining 23 other wonderful bloggers, sharing posts about our experiences / advice / madcap capers / etc. with mood disorders and mothering.

As you may or may not know, four years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder (yes, just one of the many things Catherine Zeta Jones and I have in common!) I have blogged about it extensively over the years, and tell the story in detail in my book. And let me tell you: dealing with major depression while parenting twin toddlers is almost — not quite, but almost — as fun as having a child with cancer.

No, no, no, I’m just shitting you. Nothing is as fun as having a child with cancer.

Sorry, it’s Friday night, it’s been a long week, and I’m clearly getting punchy. Back on track for a moment to say: this Mother’s Day Rally thing is going to be really cool — one contributor’s post an hour for 24 hours — all to get people talking and thinking and feeling less alone and maybe, in some cases, feeling inspired to get the help they need. Because nobody should have to deal with depression on their own.

And now, I shall join Alastair in watching a documentary about 70-year-old Dutch twin prostitutes. (I’m totally serious. I don’t know how he chooses these things…But these ladies are a hoot.)

To all of you moms out there: Happy Mother’s Day! May there be good things for you in your children’s backpacks. Or flowers and breakfast in bed. Or, hell, elderly Dutch prostitutes, if that’s your thing.  It’s all good.

 

Fokkens sisters

Meet the Fokkens!

Happy Campers

Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
FamilyShot_Holeinthewall

Post tower-climbing and zip-lining

We had such a nice weekend.

We spent it at the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp in Ashford, Connecticut — the camp Paul Newman founded as a place for kids with serious illnesses to get away from their troubles for a while and “raise a little hell.”

Growing up in the next Connecticut town over from where Paul Newman and his wife lived, I remember being aware of the place for a long time — it was founded in 1988 — but did I ever, as a happy suburban teenager, think my future family would have reason to go there? “Pshh. Yeah,” I might have said, while casually checking to make sure my feathered bangs were adequately hair-sprayed. “And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt.” (Name the reference, win an AC/DC t-shirt!*)

But I can now count the place as one of the unexpected gifts and blessings of having a child with cancer.

I grew up at summer camps (and, yes, wrote a novel inspired by those experiences) so the camp scene is something I’m very familiar with — the fresh air, the bunk beds, the dining hall meals, the repeat-after-me songs, the preternaturally enthusiastic counselors.

Hole in the Wall Gang had all of that — plus Newman’s Own brand condiments and lemonade, to boot! — but there was something especially magical about the fact that all of the families there had faced (and were still facing, in many cases) the suckitude challenges of cancer. And all the staff — many unpaid volunteers, and many former campers themselves — knew it, of course, yet were at the same time determined to help us forget it for a little while. (more…)

Refreshed and Renewed

Tuesday, April 30th, 2013
Le paperback! On sale today.

Le paperback! On sale today.

Today is a good day. A day when I’m feeling — yes — refreshed and renewed. It’s 65 degrees and sunny outside. I went for a run this morning. I’ve got lots to do, but not so much that I’m feeling stressed. I’m wearing a spring-y shirt. I’m drinking a tasty au lait. And today is the day that the paperback version of Double Time goes on sale.

A year ago today, the hardcover version was about to be published, an event that ended up feeling rather anticlimactic. It’s a weird thing as an author; you work and work on this book, you see it all coming together — the cover, the pages, etc. — and then suddenly one day it’s on sale and…nothing really happens. I’d heard this from lots of author friends, and tried to prepare myself for the let-down. But you still sort of feel like there should be champagne or fireworks or something.

I treated myself to some extremely excellent shoes as consolation. But then, less than two months after the hardcover came out, Clio was diagnosed with leukemia. Which cast something of a pall over the whole thing. (Publishing the book, that is; not the shoes, which are completely pall-resistant.)

This time around, though, I feel like a much more seasoned author, and clearly I have some more important things on my mind than my book’s ranking on Amazon. Paperback launch? Yes, how lovely! I hope my book gets into the hands of more people as a result.

But what’s especially nice about this final milestone for Double Time is the sense that I can fully move on to the next project(s). I’ve had an idea for a novel cooking for some time now, and am starting to buckle down and work on it for real. (more…)

No Mercy from the Cancer Gods

Wednesday, April 10th, 2013

parthenonI had a feeling this was going to happen. Really, it was only a matter of time:  First Alastair got sick with a bad cold, about a week ago. Then Elsa caught it — with a fever — last Friday. Then it was my turn.

Amazingly, somehow, Clio remained unscathed throughout, and when Monday rolled around and she was still OK, I thought (briefly): Huh. Maybe the Gods discussed it over wine and ambrosia and decided that they’d cut us a break, after all we’ve been through, and Clio’s not going to get this virus we’re all passing around.

But then she got back from her clinic appointment Monday afternoon, and Alastair told me that her ANC was only 100. Which is, like, really low. (ANC = Absolute Neutrophil Count. A measure of your body’s infection-fighting ability. 1500 and up is normal.) It hasn’t been that low since her induction chemo over the summer — but we’d been told that the CNS phase she just had would depress her counts.

And I thought: Wow, those Gods are really being nice to us. Because A.) Clio is super susceptible to a cold right now and B.) If she gets a fever, and her ANC is that low, they will totally hospitalize her. (more…)

Operation Paperback

Tuesday, April 2nd, 2013
My child with cancer, being forced to help me publicize my memoir.

My child with cancer, being exploited to help me publicize my book.

So, the paperback of my memoir, Double Time, comes out just shy of a month from now. I’m quite excited about this. But I admit that I haven’t been as gung-ho about it as I probably would be if, you know, one of the stars of the book didn’t have cancer.

Clio was diagnosed less than two months after the hardcover was released last May. I was still in full-on publicity mode at that point. In fact, I’d done a bookstore reading in Maine two days before we ended up in the hospital with her. At that point, her symptoms had gotten pretty acute, and we were planning to see her doctor (yet again) a few days later. But we never got that far.

And can I tell you how bizarre it felt to have our family’s life turned completely upside down while having a book out there about the era which I’d already begun thinking of as B.C. (Before Cancer)?  Yeah. Pretty freakin’ bizarre. And heartbreaking. Honestly, I couldn’t have cared less about Double Time at that point. And the prospect of there being a paperback someday just seemed ludicrous. Even offensive.

But here I am, nine months later, and I feel like: Hey! Yeah! I still want people to read this book! It’s a good book, dammit! (more…)