If you’re paying attention, and you’re feeling dismayed by current events or impending climate change or man’s inhumanity to man and other Big Stuff, or you’re stressing about the midterm elections, I’ve got some easy suggestions for soothing your soul. They work for me, anyway. Maybe they’ll work for you too.
1. Buying something cool! For a good cause! OK, I don’t generally advocate for consumerism as a cure for the malaise of modernity (though I certainly engage in it sometimes) but in this case, it might be just the ticket. By popular demand, I give you: It’s Smash the Patriarchy Season, Motherfuckers merch! Inspired by my recent blog post, with logo design by my awesome friend Lori Salmeri.
The best part: All proceeds after production costs benefit Emily’s List.
So Head to Etsy and give yourself a cathartic little boost by getting your hands on these babies for yourself and all your pals: Mugs in two convenient sizes for your beverage drinking and smashing pleasure, and decorative pillows to adorn your anti-oppression home, in a nice off-white color let’s call “cornsilk” or “Sahara” or something equally twee. And I’m sorry the shipping costs are so expensive—these are print-on-demand, which means the manufacturer prints and ships them as orders come in, so it’s beyond my control. I blame the patriarchy.
Now. Moving on to non-commercial cures for current events anxiety and misery syndrome.
2. Classic Rock & Classical Music
I almost always have NPR playing on the radio in our car (because I am a stereotypical upper middle class, overeducated east coast liberal, that’s why), except when I’ve got the girls in the car with me, in which case I have to listen to our various local “music your kids AND you will love” stations, playing hits from the 80s, 90s and today. So when I’ve had ENOUGH of current events, and ENOUGH of Bon Jovi and/or Ed Sheeran, I move that dial over to either the classical music station or the classic rock station, depending on my mood, and instantly feel a sense of relief. The classical music reminds me that my life, and this era, are but a blip in the long march of human history. And that humans beings can create some damned beautiful art. And that, still, on the balance, I’d rather live in this era than in one where I’d probably have died of a UTI by now, if not in childbirth. It’s an amazing elixir. The classic rock, meanwhile, takes me back to my youth—when I spent a lot of time listening to the music of older people’s youth. Also: Fucking Led Zeppelin, man. Sublime.
3. Apples with Peanut Butter
Because it’s Fall, and ’round these parts, in New England, where there are lots of local-ish apples to be had, you can get the world’s best apple variety, as determined by me: Cortlands. But your apple of choice will do. Slice it, put it on a plate, smear a tablespoon or two of all-natural peanut butter on the edge of that plate (preferably Teddie brand, the world’s best, as determined by me), dip and eat. You will feel virtuous (protein, fiber, no added sugar or trans fats) and full and happy. I’m pretty sure Donald Trump never eats this snack. Neither does Mitch McConnell or people who believe in gay conversion therapy. This snack is YOURS, dammit.
4. Kids and/or Animals
If you have either of the above, great. If not, go to an animal shelter a playground and look at some. (Try not to look too creepy if you do the playground idea. Maybe don’t wear a trenchcoat.) The joy, unconditional love, and innocence of a kid or cat (most cats) or dog will shoot peace and serenity straight into your veins. And unlike heroin, which I hear also does this, it’s non-addictive, doesn’t cause drug wars and human suffering, and is impossible to overdose on. Honestly, without my girls—meaning my daughters AND our kitten Pepper—I’d be a much less hopeful and contented person in these trying days. (My husband is pretty essential in this regard too, I guess, but he’s neither kid nor animal.)
5. Doing something about it.
Ever since I was but a wee child, if I wanted to make something happen, I DID it. When I was seven, if I wished I had a magical little computer thing that would fit in the palm of my hand and do pretty much anything (like, basically, an iPhone) I picked up a goddamned sawed off end of a 2×4 from the basement, drew some buttons on it with a Magic Marker, added imagination and boom. Done. When I was a teenager, and I learned about tropical deforestation and the threat of global warming, and felt overwhelmed and hopeless about it, I started an environmental club at my high school and forced all my friends to spend time picking up litter and collecting waste paper from classrooms for recycling. (Sorry, friends, but I WAS RIGHT!)
And when I’m pissed off by politics and current events, which I frequently am, I don’t just bitch and moan on Facebook or shake my head and make wry, witty jokes with like-minded friends about the masses being asses. I mean, I *do* do those things, but that’s not ALL I do. I write some goddamned postcards to voters. I make calls. I text. I donate money. I do crazy shit. This past weekend I even canvassed—which is my least favorite thing to do IN THE WORLD. Will any of it make a difference? I have no idea. Probably not. But at least I’m doing what I can. We all should, even if it’s something as simple as voting and encouraging a friend or two to vote. You’ll feel better. Honest. And then you can reward yourself with something nice afterward, like apples and peanut butter.
Or hey, how about a cool mug!?
