I know, I know. My blog is becoming derelict. With Clio’s treatment done (she finished her last dose of Bactrim — an antibiotic that provided some extra coverage while her immune system was rebuilding — last week, so she’s officially off ALL meds!) I haven’t had the pressing urge. And I’m trying to use all my allotted non-day-job writing time for working on zee novel. BUT, I’ve been meaning to share with the internets some of Elsa and Clio’s New Yorker cartoon caption contest entries. (With their permission.)
Every week, when a new New Yorker arrives at our house — before it is relegated to the pile of mostly un-read issues on our kitchen table — Elsa turns immediately to the back page for the cartoon contest. She first noticed it a few months ago, and ever since then, she’s been writing in her captions. And, more recently, she’s been submitting them (with our help) to the contest online. (Strangely, she’s never even made the finals.) Clio has gotten in on the game lately, too.
And so, since you’re unlikely ever to see these in the magazine, alas, I thought I’d share some of my favorites here.
Relax. By Elsa
“I mean, please, do you think I’d show you a man-eating coupe if it was a dime over 50?”
Long wait / I’m going to die. By Elsa (first caption) and Clio (second caption)
Elsa’s caption is what he’s thinking. But Clio’s is what he’s really thinking.
Staring. By Elsa.
Funny how? I mean, funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to fucking amuse you?
Late. By Elsa.
Some people die before their time. Others, not so much.
This thing. By Clio
That’s what she said.
The Whole World. By Elsa
“We rehearsed this a million times, and you still didn’t do the lift!”
Late for Work. By Clio
I like that this picture, to Clio, says “workplace.”
Nice Suit. By Elsa.
(I honestly think this one should have been a finalist.)
What Happened? By Elsa
Elsa’s explanation: “Get it? Because the fish that’s the skeleton is the one saying it to the normal fish?”
Looking at / Get up. By Clio (first caption) and Elsa (second caption)
“I mean, seriously, Bob. Don’t act as if you don’t know exactly what’s going on here.”
I didn’t. By Elsa
“One of my patients — guy with a bunch of neurotic pets — gets like this sometimes when he’s sleep deprived.”
Dinner By Elsa
Oh sure, because it’s her job to cook.
Watching By Elsa
You and me both, buddy.
Busy. By Elsa
“Any second, he’s going to be calling here, giving me an earful, saying that somehow I’m responsible for the fact that he’s late for his appointment…”
Sucker. By Elsa
Of course, the real sucker is anyone who pays more than forty-five bucks for a man-eating car.
Next year, I’m hoping: The girls’ rejected Shouts & Murmurs submissions. (And maybe a few of mine, too.)
Brilliant. Whether completely intentionally or just kind of.
Those two little girls have good genes!
These are fabulous.I think you should submit them, just as they are ,spelling mistakes and all. MIMI
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